Rant du jour: SUVs

I am down to my last three days of ultra-austerity until receiving the paycheck that clears the student loan I am working on.  I am feeling very cranky and ranty!!!

I know I am not alone in wondering: why do all the moms of the Boston metrowest area need to drive something that looks like this?  There are many types of SUVs out there.  But it is usually the oversized “GMC” logo emblazoned on that charmless grill that flashes before me milliseconds before its owner cuts me off to turn left onto my street even though I was already waiting to turn left onto her original street of departure.  You know this move?  You are waiting to turn left onto a larger road as cars go by.  Then a car comes from the right, slowing down the with the left blinker on.  But the driver slams right by you and onto your road, staring coldly straight ahead and pretending not to see you making hearty Italian-style gestures. I know cars to the right have the right of way, but blasting by you while you were waiting is just uncivilized.

The owner of a huge SUV also shouted at me that I was “taking up the whole road” once while I was on my bike, even as she swerved into the entire oncoming lane.  As if it too belonged to her!  Ironically, she had to use almost the entire oncoming lane just to make room for my 16″ bike profile due to the girth of her bloated boatmobile.

Also just recently, an SUV cut me off severely as I was coasting through a green light at 45 mph – to attempt to cut across 3 lanes of traffic within about 30 feet to get to the left turn to Target.  Whatever was at Target was too pressing and time-sensitive to coolly hook a U at the next intersection.  No, the SUV driver’s poor planning became my – and 2 other car lanes’ – immediate problem.

And it’s always these soccer mom types!  I have never understood why you have children and then suddenly you need to convey yourself around in a car that could qualify in size as a combat vehicle.  Children are little – why do they need more cabin space and a higher chassis to climb into?  And I have also heard stories of how moms chauffeur entire sports teams of children around. To which I say a) I have never seen that many kids in those cars as they cut me off and b) don’t teams have like 12 kids in them?  Urban myth busted.

I used to think of the SUV as simple consumerist decadence.  But googling GMC SUVs, I discovered that an entry level GMC SUV costs a not-so-high $26k.  For that cash I would sooner get a sweet Camaro for myself any day.  I don’t, because it would be decadent; but in a Camaro it would at least be stylish.  And you know what else: my sister and I had an absolute blast as little girls riding around in my mom’s series of hotladymobiles.  And she did not need to engage in Rude Driving!

You know what I think?  I think for some people the SUV and the children together are a Super-excuse to indulge in pre-existing poor driving and bad behavior all around, with the poor driving and huge car disguised as the run-off symptoms of the uncontrollable, pre-existing situation of having children.  And it offends me that these drivers luxuriate in cutting me off and shouting at me from their bossypants, ratcheted-up control centers.  People can drive whatever they want of course but I consider this arrogant-aggressive-consumerist complex to be one of the more annoying forms of obnoxious consumerism.

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